“So Shall I Put Down Half Of That?”
Gah. Innumeracy and stupidity 
I took a phone call from somebody the other day. She was having to fill out an order form to pay for some of our services.
She needed an answer to a question, and I was the one whose number she had dialled.
“I’m filling out a [sic] order form. What’s your hourly rate?”
“Eighteen pounds”
“Eighteen pounds?”
“Yes. Eighteen pounds per hour.”
That should have been the end of the conversation, right? She’d gotten the answer. I hadn’t reckoned with stupidity, however.
“Right. Well I only want half an hour a day, so shall I put nine pounds as the hourly rate?”
“No. The hourly rate is eighteen pounds.”
“So for half an hour, the hourly rate should be nine pounds.”
“No it shouldn’t.”
“
”
“Irrespective of the amount of time you book, the hourly rate is a constant eighteen pounds.”
“So even if I want to book only half an hour, I still have to pay eighteen pounds?”
“No. You would book half an hour at an hourly rate of eighteen pounds.”
“That’s nine pounds.”
“Yes. Half an hour at an hourly rate of eighteen pounds is nine pounds.”
“So I can put nine pounds then!”
“NO! The hourly rate is eighteen pounds. Hourly. The total that you pay will be some multiple or fraction of the hourly rate.”
The conversation came to an end. She had understood that she had to input £18 in the box marked hourly rate. She hadn’t actually understood why she would do that, but it had been made clear to her.
An hour or so later, I get another phone call:
“I’m still filling in that order form. You said that the hourly rate is eighteen pounds, right?”
“Correct.”
“So does that mean that even if I want only half an hour, I have to pay for a whole hour then?”
“No. You write ‘18′ in the box marked hourly rate. You write the total hours required in the box marked ‘total hours required’. You multiply the hourly rate of 18 by the total hours that you’re requesting to get the total cost.”
“OK. So I won’t have to pay eighteen pounds?”
“Look. You’re requesting half an hour a day, which will mean that you want … three and a half hours a week. Multiply that by eighteen and you’ll get the total cost of the package for the week. That will be the same as nine pounds–half an hour at eighteen pounds an hour–per day, so you’ll pay … £63 per week.”
“£63?”
“Seven times nine.”
This would be exasperating if it were a comic sketch. Unfortunately it’s genuine. I’m pretty sure that this person earns more than I do too. In fact, she undoubtedly does.
For the life of me, I can’t get my head around such stupidity. How is it possible not to be able to follow something so simple and still fail to understand it when it’s set out in plain English?
Tags: Innumeracy
January 27th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
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